Hilarious Quotes By Nigerian Politicians

“What are you talking about? Are you
defending the nonsense the Federal
Government is doing? They breached the law
by failing to declare the money that was on-
board the plane. Imagine if I was the one that
was caught with that amount of money or if it
was Mallam el-Rufai (an APC leader)? We would
probably be languishing in prison by now.” –
National Publicity Secretary of the All
Progressives Congress, Alhaji Lai
Mohammed, reacts to the $9.3m seized by
the South African government


“We were together till about 5pm yesterday,
(Thusrday). But taking his life is not an option.
It is not the best. This is irreparable and we
have come here to condole with the family. If
this other party are sure they are not the one
responsible for the killing, they should be
courageous enough to come and pay a
condolence visit to his family,” – Ekiti
governor-elect, Ayo Fayose, challenges
Governor Kayode Fayemi to visit family of
deceased, former Ekiti State Chairman of
National Union of Road Transport Workers,
Omolafe Aderiye


Ladies and gentlemen, it is gratifying to see
that our story is different today. We have
effectively retrieved Anambra State from the
gangsters that once drove our great sons and
daughters away from home and made it
impossible for investors to remember Anambra
in their investment plans. We have chased
away the enemies who forced our people to do
Igba nkwu nwanyi (traditional marriage) in
Lagos. – Executive Governor of Anambra
State ,Willie Obiano, addresses Ndi Anambra
at a security fund raising in Lagos


”Even though Fayose has not assumed office,
he has succeeded in taking Ekiti State back to
Egypt within a few months of his ‘election’. Not
only are Judges being attacked, the kind of
killings and chaos that characterized his first
time in charge of the state have already
started,” – The All Progressives Congress
reacts to the Ekiti crisis

“If the majority of the people decide to choose
the weakest among them, or the least
competent among them to lead them, the
purpose of democracy is fulfilled. They must
live with their choices until the next ballot…
Should government develop our infrastructure,
our economies and let us compete to be the
best that we can be? Or should government
give us money, rice, kerosene and contracts,
once every four years and leave us to fend for
ourselves until the next election? We cannot
consolidate the norms of democracy without
proper values, which are shared. It is only if
we believe in the same thing that our methods
can be united to achieve it” – Lagos State
governor, Babatunde Fashola, advises
Nigerians on the choice of candidates in
2015 general elections


“Take away people who left the PDP from the
APC, you will have nothing left in the APC. I
will fight my own war in PDP, I cannot fight
war for the opposition; let them fight their
own war. I have been maligned, I have been
harassed, but I remain in PDP. I will remain a
loyal member of the PDP.” – Jigawa State
Governor, Alhaji Sule Lamido, says PDP is
his home



“Nigerians should see me as new Atiku. I was
in government the first time from 1999 to
2007 and I always thank my God that it did
not continue. I have had a break. That break
has enabled me to interact with ordinary
Nigerians and know what they want and listen
to them. Probably if I had continued and
became the president I wouldn’t have been the
new Atiku,” – Former Vice President, Atiku
Abubakar, in a build up to declaring his
presidential candidacy ambition



“You see, the way we go about our politics is
so funny. What irritates me now is what I see
on Television; at the last count, I think
somebody was writing in a national paper that
they have over 8,000 groups for Jonathan,
groups calling on Jonathan to run. I have never
seen such an embarrassing thing in my life.
Jonathan is a sitting President; he is a member
of a political party. You see Pius Anyim,
Secretary to Government, saying we have
collected 4 million signatures begging Jonathan
to come and run; this is a repetition of what
happened during the Military – the 1 million
man-match. We do not need it now. Have you
ever seen a group calling on Obama, please
come and run, or on Cameron of the United
Kingdom? They just coin all kinds of name,
Goodluck to Goodluck, Jonathan to Jonathan,
door to door, I mean that is the part of our
democracy that we started that is irritating to
me.” – Charles Idahosa, Political Adviser to
Edo State Governor, is sick of Nigerian
politics


“Our decision to return him to the Senate in
2015 is irrevocable. We in Benue State have
endorsed the candidature of Mark to return to
the Senate. The position of Senator Mark is
not contestable. We want him back and there
is no question or argument about it.” – Benue
State governor, Gabriel Suswam, wanta
David Mark re-elected for Benue South
Senatorial district


“Come 2015, APC will be in Aso Rock, but we
must be aggressive to drag PDP and its
members out of the presidency and indeed,
Nigeria. I have the capacity to govern the
Federal Republic of Nigeria. I must also make
it abundantly clear that the PDP and indeed,
President Goodluck Jonathan, cannot defeat
me in the forthcoming general election” – Imo
State Governor, Rochas Okorocha, calls on
President Goodluck Jonathan to start
writing down his handover notes

"I don’t believe that the north will vote PDP.
Simply because PDP has failed everyone in this
country. If elected President, 50 per cent of
my cabinet will be made up of young people. I
will strengthen institutions and make sure that
the judiciary ensures prosecutions are seen to
their logical conclusion.
APC for me is a bus stop. I’m not leaving for
any other party.” – Former Vice President,
Atiku Abubakar, reveals plans for Nigeria, if
elected president


“I don’t know what went wrong or why
eyebrows were raised last week when the
paltry sum of $9.3m was discovered by some
busybody agents in South Africa after a private
jet (alias PJ) from Nigeria landed innocuously.
I’m surprised that anyone would dare search
such a super executive jet anywhere in Africa
where the rich can get away with murder. The
story that went viral was that a plane
belonging to the President of the Christian
Association of Nigeria, Pastor Ayo Oritsejafor,
a man of God, close friend and confidant of
our President, university owner, and so on,
was pounced upon and searched
comprehensively. What impudence!” – Dele
Momodu, publisher of Ovation International
magazine and Politician calls South Africa
thinks South Africa is unwise for revealing
what was supposed to be concealed
$9.3million on CAN president’s PJ to South
Africa


“There is no need hiding my joy, this is the
month of August, the month of my birth,
another good news I have for you is that after
completing my consultation, I have offered
myself to complete my tenure as the governor
of Imo State.”
Former Governor of Imo Ikedi Ohakim
addressing members of the press earlier this
week.


“The election was rigged in favour of
Aregbesola; some members of the O-YES were
used as INEC’s ad hoc staff, some security
agents were compromised.”
Senator Iyiola Omisore has told his supporters
in Osun to calm don and be optimistic as he
will be declared Osun state governor come 25
November.


“These campaigns, ostensibly by the
Transformation Ambassadors of Nigeria but in
truth being bankrolled by the Federal
Government, offends national sensibilities at a
time our citizens are being daily slaughtered
and our troops are struggling against the
terrorists who are bent on balkanising our
nation,”- APC said.
The All Progressives Congress (APC), calling out
President Goodluck Jonathan on setting his
priorities straight in a statement issued by its
National Publicity Secretary, Lai Mohammed.


“This is my personal opinion. If we have
Tambuwal as President and Fashola as Vice-
President, Jonathan will be out immediately it
is announced. I think that is what the youth
want. If you want a change in this country, let
them put Tambuwal and Fashola. Nigeria will
change and in fact, the stock exchange will
increase that same day it is announced. It will
give people a relief.-”
Yomi Ogunnusi, Deputy Chairman of the House
of Representatives Committee on Finance, on a
possible winning ticket for the APC for the
2015 Presidential elections.


“Ribadu remains a friend & brother. He is
matured. He remains one who believes in
liberty, justice and service. I wish him LUCK
with GOODLUCK”-
Former Lagos governor, Bola Tinubu, sending
what many consider a cryptic message to Nuhu
Ribadu on his defection to the PDP from the
APC.


"You must be very silly for saying I bleach my skin. Tell
your Editors I said you're silly."- Alao Akala to Punch
Reporter

"How will you tell me I don't have right to treasury of
Oyo State Government. The government I installed?"- Pa Lamidi Adedibu (2010)

"We want to thank the President for bringing Facebook
to Nigeria.” – Information Minister, Labaran Maku. (2009)

“I will rather kill myself than commit suicide.” – Dame Patience Jonathan


"You press men, you always say there are no
minerals in Kano. We have Coca-Cola, Fanta, Mirinda
and the newly invented Sprite." - Barkin Zuwo

"Foreign investors should ignore Boko Haram and
invest in Nigeria." - GEJ

"I will water your school and fire your school." -Orji Uzoh Kalu

"Nigerians, don't panic. Terrorist attack is
everywhere ... maybe it is our turn." - GEJ

"I founded this school for the masses and the school
fees is 850,000 naira." - Atiku Abubakar

"Until I see someone eating out of the gutters
before I believe there is poverty in Nigeria." - Umaru Dikko

"Telephone is not meant for the poor. " - David
Mark

"The worth of a child born and bred in Nigeria
cannot be compared to that in the United States."-
Yakubu Gowon

"School is not meant for the poor, only for the
rich." - Ikedi Ohakim

"At 50, Britain is still battling with King Arthur and the knights of the round table so Nigeria is not doing
too badly." - Diezeani Allison- Madueke

"Even Jesus Christ cannot conduct a free and fair election in Nigeria." - Olusegun Obasanjo

"The corp members where destined to die, nobody can run away from destiny." - Mallam Isa Yaguda, Governor, Bauchi State

"On behalf of 20 million naira, I'll donate my
family" - Dame Patience Jonathan

"We, the PDP did not win this election, I have gone to church to confess, I gave them money and they called the result." - Chris Uba

"I want to commend the doctors and nurses for responding to treatment." - Dame Patience Jonathan




Source: ynaija.com/politico/what-are-you-talking-about-are-you-defending-the-nonsense-the-fg-is-doing-see-our-top-political-quotes-of-the-week/