LMAO!!! Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi/Bus

So, this guy just came was giving heaven and earth reasons why he wouldn't go and sit at the back seat.
I was like, hah, before 7AM meet me here and the crowd come be like Mile 2 market for Lagos.

Only to see who dey front seat: one pretty, chocolate and a bit mature Secondary School girl... haha, no wonder!

She too understand, she close up!


That led me to put up this article:
FUNNY THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN A TAXI.

1. The guy sitting in the front seat (in a cold or normal day) expecting and praying that at least a lady comes to manage the front seat with him.
Then comes a guy, mtchew! Him go just like, NOT AGAIN!

2. The lady at the back (just because she dresses like Nicky Minaj) begins to form, "I don't care who's by my side" by covering both ears with earpiece and singing passionately under her breath.
The guy there will be like, What is wrong with you?

3. The business man answering a call and leaving it on speaker. Ogbeni, we nor understand your language!

4.The Two sisters (7 years and 5 years respectively) "lapping" themselves in that tight corner ( Money Saving Strategy). If e pain you, pay for them...lol

5. The coded guy in the midst of two girls trying to adjust his body and hands seriously searching for which bosom to rest his weary back on (after a busy day at work) LOL!

6. The coded girl who just says, "Driver, this your seat tight, nor be small o" as she raises her hand over and around the guys neck; incoherently saying, Your prayers have been answered.
Lol

7. The Northerner who comes in to sit close to you and you begin to wonder, "Did this man just leave the abattoir without taking a shower?
You need faith to say to yourself, IJEOMA!


8. The aged man whom at every traffic or pot hole begins to pull down GEJ government, looking at you and expecting to comment. Iffa hear!
Make him mouth come dey smell join! I'm not politically inclined!

9. The Oga Driver who carefully and masterfully arranges his mirror to be sampling a Unclad.ly-dressed gurl sitting close to you.

10. The troublesome lady who enters the taxi with #1000 Naira note on a Monday morning even when the driver echoed it loud and clear, "Enter With Your Change O!"

11. The guy who pays for a girl he doesn't know just because of her looks.
Hoping he (Jack) will see her (Rose) again in a more comfortable environment.
Na movie we dey act?

12. The girl who keeps staring relentlessly at you from the side...and just when summon courage to strike a convo, she replies as if she just met a loser or probably a cheat!
Some girls share!

13. The awkward moment when the girl whom at first didn't want to properly adjust her hands (knowing that the only option is to place her hand around your neck...) but later does it, but then, you're close to your junction. lol!
I heard some crazy guys go as far as the last bus stop because of this "Cooling Effect" / AC...LOL

14. The man who enters the taxi with a torn money and replies the driver after being confronted, "I nor collect am from somebody?"
Story for the gods!

15. The food seller (mama Caro) who keeps her food in the booth but keeps the bucket of FRIED FISH with her. hmm!

Make e come be say DAT day, son of man dey fast!
Hunger go carry your belle play chess.

16. The "unknown" passenger who farts in the car. #silentmess#
Driver needs to stop the car before the mess evolve into flames!

Do people still do vhat? Gush! I feel like throwing up already!
#winks#

17. The woman who wants to lap three children on one space oo, waiting for that "lucky" passenger, You, to come help her lap the smallest baby.

This ain't bad. # Ellen says, Be kind to one another

18. The Police, military or paramilitary man who enters and exits the taxi without at least saying a Thank You.

Na gun dem dey take buy motor na you never buy one.
(I witnessed this one)
I laffed to scorn.
The police is your friend, ke!

19. YOU...reading this...that would bring out your phone, i- pad or even book (inside six minutes journey) dey form Einstein or Rich boy just because... The opposite sex dey inside that taxi...lol

You will be making uncalled-for and unnecessary calls just to pass a message to the opposite sex that you've got good accent and that you're lively to hang out with, otherwise you won't be laffing on phone that way...lol

the ones that make 20naira change seem like a million
continuously shouting "driver my change!!!,conductor my change!!,driver change mi da!!
the staffs-this ones are well known organized motor park touts,they just enter and when driver questions them for money,the just bone face and say 'staff'
and the driver moves to the next person......staff ko employer ni

the customer care agents that are always shouting at the top of their voices in their native language?(pls calabar people should stop this......i'm not a tribalist)

The egoistic passengers?: if the driver just make mistake and behave outta turn, they would remind him that they have cars, but unfortunately their bow joint commot this morning, hence their entering a taxi...lolz

culled from nairaland